I can hardly believe it has been a year since John passed away. 524,700 minutes of life without him. Sometimes it seems like it was only yesterday and then there are the days when it seems like ages.
Bella has missed him terribly. She went months without ever going into his bedroom. She would sit at the door to his room and cry. If you don't think a dog can cry and mourn, you've never had a dog in your life.
He was missed at the Bronzer Party....
Laynee's fourth birthday....
the birth of Bentley....
the Garth Brooks concert - oh, how he loved Garth....
our 47th wedding anniversary....
all of the construction and redo of the house....
the twin's second birthday to name a few things.
Laynee still talks to him on a regular basis. She hunts coins on the ground and knows they are love and kisses from her Poppy.
But, our Lord has always promised He would be there for us thru every situation. And He most definitely has for me. At the times when I am at my lowest, He sends someone or something to lift my spirits. I can never repay all of the friends and especially blogging friends who have been such a blessing this last year.
So, today, Tiffany has taken off work to spend the day with me. We are going to the cemetery and then - who knows what else? I'm sure it will be an emotional day but God is good and has blessed me with Tiffany who is at my side each and every day and I will survive.
I will take him a dozen yellow roses and tell him how much I love him and how much I miss him.
The quote that has helped me so much this last year is:
"Grief never ends...but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith...it is the price of
LOVE"
Author Unknown
So, I realize that grief is something that is part of being in love with someone so much. And I also know that I will be reunited with him some day and it will be a glorious reunion.
Judy
Oh Judy, I am sending you love and hugs and prayers. Could Tiffany give you a real hug, from me please.
ReplyDeleteJudy, I want to send out hugs and prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteAll good thoughts to you today and hugs too. xx
ReplyDeleteHope you were able to find joy in the day.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post. I hope you had a blessed day.God is good.
ReplyDeleteA sad post. I have heard a dog cry in grief...it's heartbreaking to hear. I have no words to soothe you. Grief is a process. People can live in it, or follow the process to live through it. I'm so glad that you are moving through it and found a certain peace with it. Tiffany is a gem. I know you found something to make you smile. You have such a wonderful smile.
ReplyDeletexx, Carol
I wish I could do something more than to say I am thinking of you today, Judy. XO
ReplyDeleteRita
I will be thinking of you today, enjoy your day with Tiffany. Sending you hugs and prayers
ReplyDeleteBrenda
Dear Judy ~ I am truly sorry for your loss. Losing our husbands and best friends is so hard to take, But take it we must, and with God with us giving us His strength, we will make it, one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI loved that quote and have saved it.
Yes, oh yes we will have wonderful reunions. For now we can be blessed knowing they are with God, and that they are cheering us on as we continue to walk this journey by faith.
Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady
Sending you a really tight hug this morning and prayers to help you through this day! I know that you miss him terribly and will rest on the promise that you will see him again one day!
ReplyDeleteOh Judy you are wrapped in our hugs and thoughts from the cyber world.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers today, Judy!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Shelia
Judy- What a beautiful testament to your love for John. I know how hard today will be for you but I also know that God will bolster you and help you through the day...and each tomorrow will be a little better than the last. I think one of the things we mourn the most is the thoughts of what we have missed being able to share with them...birthdays...births...anniversaries. They are beyond "missing" but we are not. God bless you, Judy. I am glad your daughter is taking the day off. I hope you have a few laughs as you remember good times with him, too. xo Diana
ReplyDeleteJudy, what a beautiful tribute post to mark the passing of one year. I know today is difficult but God is right there by your side every step of the way holding your hand and the other hand to John's. So glad you will be with Tiffany today. The yellow roses are gorgeous and John will love them. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Judy...beautifully written post. I know today will be difficult for you...but with Tiffany at your side, and all your friends giving you virtual hugs...I hope it will be a little easier. As you said...grief doesn't end...it changes. Blessings! ;)
ReplyDeleteJudy, my heart is hurting for you but I know God has given you great comfort and your family is there always. Sending you a big hug!!
ReplyDeleteLinda
God bless you and comfort you especially today.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you today.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written, Judy....such a moving tribute to John and to your long and loving marriage. And such a celebration of life too, as it goes on. So glad you have sweet Tiffany beside you today. Sending you love from across the sea.
DeleteHelen xox
I love your wedding photo! You and John are filled with love and joy. I share in your grief today and am traveling the same journey without the love of my life. I lost my love 105 days ago after a short five months since his diagnosis. I still think it is a nightmare I will wake up from and he will walk in smiling and laughing. My family and friends have been wonderful but I am so lonely without him by my side. He was my life. So know that you are not alone. Many walk your same path and know your grief. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh this is so sad! I know you've had a long difficult year. I have not been in your shoes but can only imagine how difficult it is to lose your spouse. It's good that you have your faith to carry you through it. It's hard to look at your headstone thinking that one day your date will be added to it. It's good to know that you also have your family to bring you happiness throughout the rest of your life. Your grandkids are probably such a bright spot in your life.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and dear John today, Judy. I'm glad Tiffany will be with you today. Take time for yourself and to honor your dearest.
ReplyDeletexo
Claudia
Oh Judy, my sweet new friend...my heart goes out to you on this day. What a beautifully written post. May the Lord continue to keep you close and may your memories of John always be near. God bless.
ReplyDeleteYes, grief is the price of love....thinking of you today and always. It was a JOY to chat with you the other day....
ReplyDeletemuch, much love...
Becky
Us who have walked this path also are thinking of you today
ReplyDeleteI know Bella is still missing him however i'm sure Bella is right by your side.
I'm so glad your have your faith and all those babies to keep you smiling
Janice
Oh, Judy...this was such a beautiful and heartfelt post. I know what you mean about it seeming like it was just yesterday, but sometimes it feels like forever. Anniversary dates are so incredibly hard. Thank God for Tiffany. I am so glad she is always there for you. Sending you a big hug and prayers for your comfort.
ReplyDeleteDear Judy.. I know it's been a tough year but you have carried on with dignity and positivity. He must have been quite a guy. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
ReplyDeleteA very emotional day with so many memories! Continued healing for your broken heart through God's grace.
ReplyDeletewarmly,
deb
A beautiful and heartfelt post to your beloved John, I cant' believe its been a year and been a tough year for you, but you are a strong woman, and like they say, God never gives us more than we can handle. May God continue to keep you strong.
ReplyDeleteJudy hugs my friend. The year has gone by so fast. Little Bella missing her dad!!! They say dogs can grieve up to a year or more. I love the quote so true. Hugs to you today.
ReplyDeleteKris
God Bless your heart, Judy. I am sending you a big hug. I hope you made it through this day ok and I pray that each day will be a little easier for you.And God Bless that precious Tiffany too.
ReplyDeleteLove, hugs, and prayers to you, Judy. Grief is a personal journey, and it is never an easy trip to take. xo Laura
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful heartfelt post you have written. It is wonderful that you have your family and all those precious little ones to manifest that he was here with you and through them, part of him still is.
ReplyDeleteThis is a post that comes right from your heart, Judy, so beautiful. Thinking of you today and sending love and comfort. : )
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Your positive spirit is blazing a trail for others to be comforted. That was such a beautiful post, Judy.
ReplyDeleteI especially love your wedding photo.
Blessings, Deb
Your positive spirit is blazing a trail for others to be comforted. That was such a beautiful post, Judy.
ReplyDeleteI especially love your wedding photo.
Blessings, Deb
Beautiful, heartfelt tribute to your beloved John. I'm sure he's watching over you and the girls, and is with you through all these milestones in spirit.
ReplyDeleteWhat a special and sweet tribute. That 1st year is always the hardest to get through. It's been almost 18 years since I lost my dad and I still miss him and think of him quite often. I've not yet lost my spouse but I'm sure if he goes before I do it will be a huge adjustment period. I'm so glad you have good family to surround you and have made friends through blogging. I think that really helps.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you. But you have so many wonderful memories and I really loved this beautiful tribute. Loss is such a difficult thing. My mother will be gone 14 years on November 16. It is still very difficult for me. SHe was the best to talk to and I really miss here. Thank you for sharing with us. May God Bless You! A big Colorado hug from me to you! Anne
ReplyDeleteMy heart also hurts for you, but I am glad you have so many great and wonderful memories-peace be with you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, Judy. I lost my own beloved hubby of 43 years, over two years ago. He was only 64, and had fought prostate cancer for almost 8 years. I still miss him, and always will, but thankfully the grandchildren bring joy into my heart and he lives on through them, and my four children. Love and blessings are sent to you.
ReplyDeletePraise for Led Christmas Tree
ReplyDeleteI ordered a Led Christmas Tree from bizarkdeal.com. This tree has me excited for the winter holidays. Right now, we have it in our living room. It will make a great addition to the outdoors when winter comes, though. According to my husband (who couldn't wait for me to get home from work before he set it up), it was easy to put together and the LED lights are "the real deal" - he's a light expert, apparently (wink). The kids keep going in the room and ooo'ing and ahh'ing at the tree, too. The tree did come with a set of snowflakes. I am not sure if it's because it's just the start of fall, but I wasn't exactly in love with the way they hung on the tree. The lights on the snowflakes are a different brilliancy than the tree itself, so they sort of stood out. Maybe outside I'll get it? Also, because we haven't had it outside yet / for the winter, I do want to note that the cord is thinner and less rugged than I'd expect for an outdoor tree. We will have to test it later this year and see how that goes. All in all, a great decoration for your home. (Note - I was provided this tree for review; all opinions are 100% my own.)