Saturday, January 3, 2015

My 2014 Year

The year of 2014 will always be very unforgettable in my eyes.  Good times and some really bad times.  Things to be thankful for and things I wish I had never been exposed to.

In January, John and I were looking forward to taking Bella and ourselves to a little yellow cottage on the beach in Galveston, Texas.  However, our plans changed rapidly when John had another form of cancer pop up very suddenly and Doctor wanted him in hospital that day for surgery the next day.  Thank the good Lord, that surgery went very well and we were home in just three days, however, he wasn't able to travel.  Next year we said.  Next year.......

 We were so blessed to have those precious twin babies at home at last.  They had been in the NICU for three months and it was so good to have them home and doing so well.

February was a slow and uneventful month for us.  In March John was diagnosed with the latter stages of Alzheimer's.  This was a hard pill to swallow.

In April I got to go to Neosha, MO to my sister's for the annual City Wide Garage Sale along with my other sister.  We had so much fun.  

In April Brenda moved and we helped as much as possible.  Then we had an estate sale to help her get rid of a lot of the items she didn't want to move.

The summer months went by fairly fast as we enjoyed a few 2-3 day trips.  Branson, MO was one of our more enjoyable trips.

Suddenly, the first week in August John developed the third kind of cancer and another surgery.  So many bloggers sent us love and prayers and good wishes.  I was overwhelmed by their support.

We seemed to spend several days a week at various physician's and testing labs.  John still maintained his good nature and strongly kept his faith.  We had quite a few complications arise but spent the majority of our time in the hospital.

On August 31st, we celebrated our 46th Anniversary.

On October 14 , the doctor came in and told us they had done everything they could do and we just needed to go home and enjoy the time we had.  So we went home.  The following week we started Hospice.  I must say they are an amazing group of kind and compassionate people.

Two weeks later on November 5th, John passed away - at home and with me at his side which is what he wanted.  I am so grateful it happened that way - at home and together.

I have always said that there was never anyone I knew that was more ready to meet their Lord than John was.  He loved his church and was part of several prayer groups - even one that met at four o'clock on Thursday mornings!!!

His funeral was a few days later and was just as he would have wanted.  We had discussed it many times and had all of the arrangements pretty well made.

Since that day, I have been busy with all of the legalities that death incurred.  Once again, he had things pretty well arranged.  But, that was just my John

Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone and the pain is unreal.  Such an empty space in my heart.  John traveled a lot when he worked so I was use to taking care of all of the household chores, bill paying, etc.

But, I always knew he would be home on the weekends.

I really want everyone to know that I am so grateful for the last year I had with John.  We had a lot of silly, fun times and I have so many precious memories.  I am so thankful for all of the wonderful doctors, nurses and others that we had the pleasure of working with during this last year.

These beautiful wings Su sent me will always remind me that he is near and watching over me and the girls.

Bella and I cry a lot but I try to do it when I'm alone.  I miss him so much but am so grateful for the 46+ years we had.

God was so good to give us such a love - a love not easily forgotten.

Here we go 2015.



  1. What bittersweet memories...the holidays so soon after John's passing must have been very difficult. You and John can still share fun time in your heart, your love will never end. Take care.

  2. Judy your love for John and the life you shared brought me to tears, some sad and some happy that you had that kind of love and always will. I pray that 2015 will bring you more Joy then Sorrow!

  3. Such wonderful love between you and John. Thank you for writing today. I am moved to tears and smiles and sending prayers with love to you and yours. Such sweet tiny little loves in your arms.

  4. Judy, Thank you for sharing this with us. I wanted to know more about John. I knew a bit from Brenda's she spoke highly of you and John. He sounds like a loving fun person. Sending you some hugs Judy, I know you miss him so . You will see each other again in God's time. Blessings, xoxo,Susie
    p.s. I will never forget that John told you near the end, he did not know you but knew he loved you.

  5. Judy you are a wonderful example of a Christian Wife..faithful and loving to the end. You are in my prayers!!

  6. Continued prayers for you...I hope that new memories, that will be happy, will be made in the New Year.

  7. Judy, my heart hurts so much for your heart that I can hardly stand it. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, and I want you to know I am thinking of you and holding you close. I have lost so very many people (young and old) that I love, but a spouse is truly the other half of you. I have been married for well over half of my life and have been with my husband as a boyfriend before that so that would be over two-thirds of my life. Hence I can imagine how you must miss John. I am so glad you felt you could share this with us. This post was a beautiful testimony to love. I haven't been blogging as much due to a hiatus I took with shingles and then a cracked IPAD. I am on Mr. Magpie's work computer now. But I just wanted to leave this love note for you. My cousin is a minister, and one of the things I have heard him say is that it is okay to weep. Even Jesus wept. But what truly sets us apart is that we don't weep as those who have no hope because our hope is stayed on His promise of eternal life to those who believe. I am so thankful you have that peace and reassurance. The everlasting arms that sustain us all.

    Love to you and blessings abundant in the year to come!



  8. I just don't have the words to say. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know he will always be in your heart and that you will be reunited one day. So sorry. Hugs and prayers

  9. What a hard year, with some high points and heart break. How sad to lose your dear hubby, and you are courageous to carry on and see the good points too. God bless you.

  10. Judy, you are one amazing gal! I'm so glad you had this last year with your sweetheart! love the photo eating ice cream and your wedding day. you have some beautiful memories! big hugs and lots of love, Debra

  11. Judy, I think about you all the time. You are so positive even in the hard times. I'm glad you had that time with John...all 46 years! What a blessing.

  12. I am crying. To read about the whole thing was just so terribly sad. John was so vital and full of life. To see illness eat away at him was one of the worst things I can imagine. And the fact that you had to watch it happen. He was a really great man, full of humor and love. They don't make many Johns. I can see you grieving more deeply now, and though I know it is necessary, still it breaks my heart that I can't do a thing. I don't know that kind of love. There must be a hole in your heart that will never close.

  13. You'll never forget this incredible man and the life you had together. It will sustain you in years to come. I keep you in my prayers sweet friend. Hugs, Diane

  14. Keeping you in my prayers as the new year begins. I am a new visitor and so sorry for your loss.

  15. I have tears in my eyes as I'm trying to type this. What a wonderful love you had for one another!! And what great the photo of him with the ice cream. Keeping you in my prayers.

  16. Oh Judy, what a beautiful marriage you and John had. He was an amazing man and I know that he is looking down on you from above and will always be with you. You are in my prayers Judy. I am so very sorry.
    Lots of hugs for you and Bella.

  17. Oh Judy, it is so hard to type when the tears are falling but I must tell you, you are an inspiration, you and your wonderful man,,,I continue to keep you in my prayers,

  18. Oh, dear Judy, my heart breaks for all you've gone through. But how comforting to know your John is with Jesus! He sounds like an incredible person and I'm so glad for all of the love you two shared on this earth. You're in my prayers.
    Shelia ;)

  19. My heart breaks for you and the pain you're going through. Brian and I have been married 30 years and I hope and pray we're blessed with many more years together. Love and hugs to you, my dear friend.

  20. Judy--
    I come here and read and I know about your story--You said you try only to cry when you are alone...but reading it today, reminds me that there are many people out there, we just don't know what they are going through. Many people try to hide or mask their situation. By telling your story, sharing this love story of you and your husband-- sharing about your faith, your testimony and How your husband had faith-- that will speak volumes to someone who is hurting. It will help to give them and you peace. That is why we share our testimony-- it brings God glory and it paves a way for Him to bless us.
    I pray for you to have Peace in your life today-- comfort for your sorrow, and overwhelming Joy for life!
    Blessings to you :)

  21. I wish I could reach thru the computer and give you a HUG! What a great year you had with your love! I know that it was difficult to go thru SO much but together is how you tackled it all! Isn't it awesome to know that you will see John again and walk those streets of gold! Sending HUGS and CONTINUED prayers your way!

  22. I'm so glad we talked on the phone last night, dear Judy. I know this has been unimaginably hard for you. Your love for John is everlasting and he is with you, simply in another form. I know he's watching over you and Belle. Your incredible strength will help you move through the pain, which will never truly go away, but will fade a bit in time, my dear friend. I'm glad you've given yourself permission to cry, to grieve. John was a wonderful man, a true companion.
    Much, much love. Claudia

  23. sweet friend....this is such a beautiful and heartfelt post. your heart is so broken, and i am so sorry for you. GOD please wrap judy in love and give her strength to walk this walk in her life......john is always with you, angel.

    lots of love....


  24. I've never had the kind of love you shared with John. You are so fortunate to have had that experience. I'm sorry that you have the pain caused by his leaving before you do. Wish I could do something to make you feel better. I'll send you love and prayers. Lots of love and good wishes from your friend, Bev

  25. Your beautiful post is a reminder to anyone with faith that despite the current amount pain, there is an eternity of joy awaiting us in a place with "no sorrow or tears."

  26. Judy,my heart goes out to you.I pray you will sense joy in the midst of pain during this new year. Love, Rachel

  27. My heart and prayers go out for you as you continue life's journey without your John. Grieving is a long and slow process (I lost my son last year) -- there are good days and bad days but the comfort and love of God will be with you giving you the strength and peace that you so need and desire. May you be blessed with your loving memories and in your faith.

  28. Wishing you a peaceful 2015...

  29. Such an amazing way for you to have looked back on the year Judy. xx

  30. I know you're not familiar with me, but I've read everyone of your blog posts. I prayed for John and you several times this past year. I will continue to pray for you Judy ... I know that the Lord will continue to be by your side as you journey on.

  31. Such a beautiful post. I pray 2015 will be filled with much love and laughter and joy, even though there will be sadness as well. Peace to you!

  32. Oh, Judy, what a touching post. You have such a strong faith. I'm so glad you have so many good memories of John and your life together. I hope and pray that 2015 will bring you lots of good times and healing for your soul. One of these days I hope you feel like taking a month at that cottage with Bella and a friend.

  33. Oh sweet friend, this is such a beautiful most, so full of love for a Man you adored. I feel our love for him in every word and I know you miss him so much.
    Sending you a big hug,

  34. Such a sweet touching post. You are lucky to have loved and been loved in this way. God bless.

  35. Judy,
    What a beautiful love story for you and John to have 46 years together. What a wonderful accomplishment and enrichment to both your lives. I am so glad you have your faith and that helps you through all of this. I hope knowing John is with the Lord doesn't make you miss him less or your heart break less but gives you some peace. So sorry Judy you lost your best friend this year. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue on in the new year.

  36. What a special love the two of you shared. John sounded like such a special man and you are a special lady...I know this from reading Brenda's blog about how wonderful a friend you have been to her. I'm so sorry you are having to learn how to travel down life's road without your beloved by your side. I will pray that God will bless you, comfort you and keep you safe as you journey onward until that day when the two of you meet again.
    Hugs, Cheryl

  37. Wishing you peace and blessings in 2015 - your faith and acceptance shines out from your post. Betty

  38. Dear Judy, with tears in my eyes I am saying prayers for you going forward. You shared a wonderful life with John and he will always be with you. The love you share will give you the strength you need and the courage for the future. God be with you and give you comfort in the days ahead.
    Sending Big Texas Hugs!

  39. I have followed your posts for a couple of years now and look forward to every one. You are such a creative and caring person,and it shows through on every post. Nothing we say or tell you can erase the pain, but hopefully knowing how many people are (and have been) praying for you does help in some small way. You and John had a love that all of us admire. May peace and joy be a part of every day of 2015 for you and yours.

  40. Judy - John would be so proud of you - how brave you are and carrying on family traditions!! I love the angel wings and especially loved the wedding picture of yall! Same gorgeous and sweet smiles through the years. Just know your friends (from all over) have you close in our hearts and prayers ox

  41. The true essence of love is that it never dies. Your life with John was blessed in so many ways. But nothing comes easy, I'm afraid. The pain in your heart must feel insurmountable Judy. In time, the physical pain will subside, and be replaced by loving memories.



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