Three months ago about this time I was sitting at the funeral home making arrangements for John's funeral. He had passed away earlier in the day.
Three months - seems so much longer than that.
Allow me to remember.....
I always got yellow roses on my birthday, Mother's Day and our anniversary.
This August would have been our 47th year. It's hard to imagine being married to my love for that length of time.
How he loved his Bella. I had so much trouble with her right after John passed. She wouldn't eat and until only a few days ago, she had not gone into his bedroom where he passed.
The Vet said animals grieve just like humans and it was all part of the grieving process. But, she is doing much better.
I dread Valentine's Day, my birthday and then our anniversary later.
I always planted the flowers and then just left them to John to take care. Will I plant flowers this year? I don't know yet.
How he loved doing things with Laynee. We went to this horse show I think, three times in one week. Just so she could see the horses. I know he would have done the same thing for the twins but, I don't think they will remember him. That makes me sad.
I didn't go to our Christmas party (aka the Bronzer Party) this year. It was just too soon. I will go next year.
This is my favorite picture of John and I. Of course, we were a little younger but it is still my favorite.
Thanks for letting me share this day with you. So many of you have been so kind and I have appreciated your prayers and love.
Thank you God for giving me 46 years of true love with my John and having so many precious memories.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but, you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John Kessler